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The Unhealed healer

A healer is...

A healer is a person I would describe as someone who is driven to take care of others, is committed to fill others’ cups before her/his own and is someone who actively tries to make everyone’s life better. The unhealed healer will intuitively serve others selflessly and wholly, without even thinking of her/his own needs. The unhealed healer’s initiatives often become misdirected trying to help people who don’t want to be healed, but want, instead, a caretaker/enabler to fluff up their ego and to make them feel powerful. Usually, unhealed healers seek to heal others with the covert mission of healing themselves. They do this by reliving old wounds with similar characters from their past, hoping that on a spiritual level they can make things right this time around. While some healers may have been successful with this strategy, sometimes unhealed healers find themselves in a situation that is less than healthy, where the balance of give and take is overwhelmingly out of synch.

Healers – you are not here to be selfless servants. You are here to love yourself first, so you can expand your ability to love and heal many people from different walks of life. You are not just here to play out ancestral traumas with unhealthy partners. Don’t be railroaded into toxic relationships that monopolize all of your time, energy and talents. Use your time, energy and talents to heal yourself; then you can help others heal themselves the right way-with balanced loved and boundaries. 

Healed healers practice self-love, so they can courageously take their beautiful empathic gift into the world and be that beacon of light for others. If our household, community and world are going to change, this dynamic is going to have to change from the roots up. This is why I believe, for the unhealed healer, ancestral healing is necessary.


Now, let me tell you a real-life story -

Recently, a friend called me on the phone about her father; she was hysterical. He had passed away. Two days later, she got a letter in the mail stating that her disabled sister’s and her trust had been converted into her stepmother’s name. In the final weeks of his life, her father attempted to remove the stepmother’s power of attorney over him. He had relayed to my friend and his business manager that he had made a bad contract with his wife, and he wanted to live. Their business manager did not follow through, from fear of the stepmother. Her father died the following week. The power of attorney remained and as a result, my friend and her disabled sister, as of now, have lost their trust. 

Her father was a natural healer. In my work, I find that people who have this natural inclination to heal others often find themselves in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to heal the balanced way, but instead wants to take, take, take… draining the healer of all they have to their very last breath, if be it! 

My friend is enraged. She feels betrayed and powerless. I advised her that before she takes action that she should seek out to heal the ancestral trauma that is coming up in her lineage. For example, her father, while growing up, was severely abused by his mother. Most likely, her father replicated this relationship with her stepmother in an attempt to heal the wound that originated with his own mother.  

Next, I advised her to journal her feelings from beginning to end, and afterward, she would know the right path to take. For me, when I am overwhelmed with emotion, I often find comfort in a pen and pad. Writing usually reveals another level of awareness that needs to be addressed. 

Lastly, I recommended that she perform an Energy Retrieval Meditation and a Cord Cutting Meditation. It is best to do these meditations after you run your energy, which I explain how to do in a previous blog.

  • I imagine a golden ball of transmuted energy above my crown. 

  • Then I call back by name the person or situation I feel is draining my energy. 

  • I imagine this energy coming from the person or situation back into this golden ball above my crown.

For example, I call all my energy back from Jackie. I call all my energy back from the estate sale. I call all my energy back from the entire state of New York, or I call all of my energy back from my past, present and future lives. 

  • Once I am done, I imagine all of this energy filling up this golden ball. 

  • I make an intention that this energy is transmuted, balanced and healed. 

  • Then I imagine the golden energy flowing down my crown into each of my chakras and auric field to the soles of my feet and to the center of the Earth, if needed. I sit in this space for several minutes, welcoming my energy back to me. 

If I feel particularly drained by a person or situation, I then ask St. Michael to cut the energy cords that bind us together. 

  • I imagine St. Michael’s Sword of Truth spiraling around my auric field, cutting back all energetic ties from whom or whatever situation is draining me.

  • Finally, I humbly ask St. Michael to guard my energy field from this person or situation. Usually by the time I get to this point the situation or relationship has become unbalanced.   

When trying to discern your role in a particular relationship dynamic, all of these strategies are very helpful. It is always enlightening to look at the bigger picture of what is happening. It is my belief if my friend doesn’t approach this issue with the overarching goal of healing the ancestral trauma for her family lineage, even if she wins a legal battle, all of her father’s efforts will be lost, and the cycle will continue. 

Bluntly put, it’s not really about the money, it’s really about the healing. 



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